They Call it Protection, I Call it Bigotry.
-A personal story about family rejection, identity, and the rise of Christian nationalism
There are moments in life that leave you unable to deny whats really happening and you see everything for what it really is.
For years, I’ve tried to coexist peacefully with certain members of my extended family. I’ve shown up with kindness, kept parts of myself quiet to avoid “offending,” and tried, honestly, to believe that blood could override bigotry. But that illusion shattered recently again and this time, I’m not patching it back together.
I’m gay, I’m a witch, and I'm sick of the bullshit!
I’m also a loving parent, a loyal partner, and a good damn human being. But to some members of my spouse’s family, none of that matters. My existence is too much for them too sinful, too dangerous, too “demonic” and now, they’ve drawn a hard line in the sand. They recently told my spouse that they can no longer speak to us. This comes after months of ignoring her and this isnt because of a fight. Its not because of any harm done. But because, in their words, me practicing witchcraft is evil and that we are the kind of people they need to be “protected” from.
Protected? Does believing in anything other than the blood of christ make me inherently evil? Does love, truth, and spirituality that doesn't mirror their own mean we are some sort of contagion. These same family members for years supported, even just mildly, my spiritual journey.
But it gets worse.
One of these family members had the audacity to tell my daughter my kind, compassionate, beautifully curious daughter that being gay is evil. That I am evil, that the way I view the world is evil, that my very existence is somehow an evil so great that they cant risk being around me, my spouse or our daugther. This is someone who’s been in her life since birth. Someone she trusted and now she’s confused. Processing the idea that people she once loved could so easily turn on us because of who we are and what we believe.
It’s not just a “difference of opinion.” It’s indoctrinated cruelty.
I’m angry but underneath the anger is heartbreak. Because this isn’t just my story it’s the story of so many LGBTQ+ people, witches, spiritual outsiders, and their families who are being erased, exiled, or demonized in the name of “faith.”
We’re watching a rising tide of Christian nationalism swell in this country where fundamentalist beliefs are so deep into politics, education, healthcare, and the private lives of citizens. This isn’t religion, this is control, this is manipulatiion and it thrives on fear, shame, and obedience.
When they say they need protection from me, what they really mean is they can’t tolerate a world where someone like me lives freely, so out loudly, and authentically.
But I won’t shrink to soothe their discomfort.
I will not hide, I can't stay silent anymore. I can not ignore the raise of hate our community faces and every marginalized group faces at the hands of these people.
To those of you who’ve lost family over your identity, your magic, your queerness, your truth you are not alone. I see you and I stand with you and I want you to know: their rejection does not define your worth.
Your existence is not evil
Your magic is beautiful
Your queerness is not a sin
You are sacred
Let them protect themselves from the demons they imagine. We’ll keep protecting our joy, our families, and our fire.